Wheel of M-I-S-F-O-R-T-U-N-E

[applause]

It's time to play everyone's favorite game - Wheel of Misfortune!

Heeeere's your host, Pat "not my real name or hair" Say Jack.

[wild applause]

Thank you, thank you. And let's don't forget the lovely Banana Fana Fo Fanna, our overpaid finger pointer! Let's jump right in with our first puzzle.

[sound and visual of the big wheel spinning and spinning, round and round]

Pat, can I have an "M" please?
There is one "M".
I'd like to buy a vowel.
An "O" please, Pat.
There are five "O"s in this puzzle.

Pat, I'd like to solve the puzzle! Is it:



[SUPER LOUD APPLAUSE]

Tell him what he's won!

You've won an all expenses are on you, trip to the Texas Children's Hospital Emergency Room. That's right. Hours of no-fun and no-enjoyment, trying to keep you child entertained and still in three different waiting areas. But that's not all... if you're lucky you might get the change to finally put your child to sleep in her stroller only to be woken up by the nurse retaking her temperature and blood pressure at the 4-hour wait mark.

[applause starts to fade]

In this picturesque town of thousands upon millions of random mosquitos, you will bare witness to the results of one small bite, dead center on the forehead of a child. You will watch it turn red. You will wait and wonder. You will see the suprised look on the mother's face a day later when the child's forehead has swelled to the size of a baseball.

Your first day of adventure will find you at the local emergency room for diagnosis and antibiotics. Day two will promise even more fun and excitement as you visit a local pediatricians office for a different diagnosis and a referral to the children's hospital for a CT scan and intravenous antibiotics. But not to be outdone, the night life finds you chowing down on Micky D's in the first of several kid themed waiting rooms.

After hours of waiting, hours of staring at the child's forehead trying to tell if the swelling is really that bad, hours of trying to remember what the child's forehead looked like two days earlier... you will finally see a doctor. Thank goodness. At last.

We won't ruin your prize by telling you the outcome. Have a great time on this wonderful fun-filled, frustrating adventure.

[silence in the studio]

Back to you Pat!

-------------------------

Alright, just so you can sleep tonight. T-baby is fine. The doctor at Texas Children's said that the first diagnosis was correct and to continue the antibiotic treatment. He sent us home! Her forehead is almost back to normal. I wish I had thought to take a before and after picture, but alas, there was too much going on to be that prepared. Now what we need is a good bug repellent!